Happy Birthday Ron!
by Lost Dove and Julia Griever
Summary: Ron's birthday party. Sequel/companion to Julia Griever's Happy Birthday Hermione!
1. Disclaimer

Lost Dove: Hallo!! We're back!! And in case you didn't like the last one *sniff sniff sob sob* we have another one!! now, to get this one I suggest you go see "Happy Birthday Hermione " by my good friend Psychic Dreamer here. Anyway, as you can probably tell by the title (since all of you are much more brilliant than myself) this is Ron's birthday. Enjoy..please?  
  
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is called J.K. Rowling. We are not. Comprenez- vous? This disclaimer counts for all the chapters to come. Thank you. 


	2. From Hermione

Not so much a present as a truck load. Ron could barely lift it. Inside were.....  
  
"Wow, thanks Hermione! I've always wanted the complete collection of Hogwarts: A History's Encyclopedia!"  
  
Ron knew that he would treasure this gift from her forever. Maybe she'd notice him if he memorized the entire H section......He sighed and softly spoke the words: "But soft, what light-"  
  
Ron stopped for a minute, then thought, "Hooooolllld on a minute. I never talk like that..... which of you weird fanfic authors is influencing me???"  
  
A girl on the sofa that he hadn't noticed before suddenly giggled. The tall girl next to her shushed her. "Wait a minute." he said, frowning. "Who are you?"  
  
"Is that really important?" said the shorter one. "Just enjoy your birthday!"  
  
And suddenly that was all Ron really felt like doing. 


	3. From Cho Chang

A Loréal Paris Feria Hair Blackening Kit from Cho Chang. "Hair blackening?" Ron blinked, "Waa?" "Well your hair is so red and bright. I think it'd look better darker! And besides, I prefer black hair in guys myself!" everyone blinked at Cho Chang, Harry staring at her in a dreamy way. "Cho!" Hermione spluttered, "are you saying Ron will look good with black hair? Does that mean you like him?" "No! All I'm saying is that I like guys with black hair!" Harry grinned across the room. "But I don't like glasses." Harry's grin fell. 


	4. From Sirius

Ron looked up with surprise at the familiar shaggy figure. "Sirius!!! But how....when....why?" Sirius grinned. "Well, it's your birthday, and what none of you know is that Dumbledore let me sneak in." He winked. "Well, go on, open it."  
  
Ron opened it and let out a huge belly laugh, collapsing on the floor and panting for breath. Harry peeked over his shoulder and broke out into hysterics as well.  
  
The other guests were curious by this time. Hermione reached in and pulled out a custom-made china figurine of a hippogriff boxer triumphant over a very blonde boy....  
  
Ron tried to talk between his convulses. "You see........it was......like....i saw Draco being put down by that animal.....alll.....over....again.....it was ALMOST......as good as the white bouncing ferret....."  
  
Harry's laughter increased in pitch. "God no, not the *gasp* ferret!! O my sides....." 


	5. From Dean and Seamus

A poster of Celine Dion from Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan. "Who's this?" Ron pointed at the enlarged picture of the smiling woman at the two boys, who were staring at it in a horny and somewhat scary way. "Isn't she the hottest?" Dean sounded like he was drooling, and Ron began to grow uneasy. "But who IS she?" Ron found her attractive, but awfully old- like in her forties. "A singer! Didn't you ever watch Titanic?" Seamus sounded as if Ron had never drunk water in his life. "Oh.yeah. I have.is she the singer at the end?" "YES!" They said exasperatedly. "Oh." Ron threw the poster over his shoulder. That song was too sappy for him. 


	6. From Mr. and Mrs. Weasely, Ginny, Bill, ...

He groaned as he reached the next one. The card read "To our little Ronnikins from Mummy, Daddy, Bill, Charles, Percy and Ginny."  
  
Harry snickered. "Ronnikins?"  
  
Ron sighed, and whispered to Harry,"I'm suddenly psychic Harry....I think that in there will be a........" as he began humming in the manner of Professor Trelawney "a jumper! Divination has helped me! I see the light!"  
  
He opened the present and lo and behold......no maroon jumper was to be seen.  
  
Harry let out a huge laugh. "Maroon LONGJOHNS?" 


	7. From Fred and George

A very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, VERY tiny box from Fred and George. Ron curiously unwrapped the box to discover a small, rubbery sphere that was white with a big black circle in the middle. "Cool!" Ron rolled it around in his hands, "A bouncy ball! Let's check it out!" "Nooooooooooooo!" They said in unison, but it was too late. Ron tossed it against the wall. BOING! The sphere zoomed across the room. "AAAH!" Lost Dove and Psychic Dreamer screamed and leapt off the couch to duck for cover as the ball bounced off the wall. WHAP! The sphere struck the wall closest to Hermione, Cho Chang, Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown. They shrieked and ducked in mock alarm. THUP! It whapped the wall behind Harry, Dean, Seamus and Neville. "Holy-" They ducked, and soon the entire Gryffindor lounge was full of the sphere bouncing off of the walls, and full of people shrieking and ducking from the zooming blur of white, with Ron sitting in his chair, looking around at all the mayhem. Then Ron held up his beginner's piano book to stop it; however the ball was so strong that it zipped the book out of Ron's hand, and the book and the ball sailed out the windows. Fred and George looked up from the floor, frowning angrily. "Now look what you did, Red-head! You wasted a perfectly good frog's eyeball!" "That was a frog's eyeball?" Ron asked. "YES!!" "Oops. sorry." The twins rolled their eyes, "You'll always be our clumsy little brother." 


	8. From Harry

Reading Glasses from Harry. "Huh?" Ron examined the glasses, "What are these for?" Harry was grinning. "Well, er, since you don't eat enough carrots at mealtimes, I fear for your vision!" "What's carrots got to do with it??" Ron stared at Harry with a 'Have you all of a sudden gone insane look' on his face. "Carrots help you see better!" Harry looked proud. Hermione had an eyebrow raised at Harry, who had also given her reading glasses at her birthday. "Oh.uh thanks." Ron put the glasses away. 


	9. From Hagrid

Nursery Rhymes at The Piano- Book Two- from Hagrid, who wasn't there as he probably couldn't fit into the dorm. Ron felt his face get hot. "I didn't know you played the piano, Ron!" Hermione was frowning in inquiry. "Oh.I, er.don't!" Ron lied, "I don't know what Hagrid's talking about! Maybe he got it for Ginny." Everyone exchanged glances at each other as Ron threw the book aside. "Dammit, Hagrid, I told you not to show any signs of me playing the piano!" Ron grumbled to himself. 


	10. From.....

Ron jumped back from the present. "You-know-who?????"  
  
There was a poof, and out of the air appeared an evilly green wizard.......who raised his wand... muttered a few words....and out of his wand shot.....  
  
CONFETTI!!  
  
Everyone stood there, speechless.  
  
Voldemort shrugged sheepishly. "Well this IS a fanfic....and I get SO tired of being evil...and Ron's never even defeated me....and heck I mean the last birthday party i went to was Lucius Malfoy's....and I promise I'll be good?" He looked imploringly up at everyone  
  
Hermione shook her head to remove herself from her trance. "Ok so let me get this straight.....You-know-who is giving us puppy-dog eyes??? Good grief who WRITES these fanfics?" She walked away, muttering something that sounded like "simply messed-up" under her breath.  
  
Ron realized he had yet to open his present. "Well uhhhh thank you uhh....what would you like me to call you?"  
  
"Tom would be WONDERFUL"  
  
"Ok....uh.....Tom......I'll just open it now....." Ron cautiously ripped the sequined wrapping paper. "Wow....Tom......a book of Dark Magic Spells! I just uhhh.....KNOW I'll use this uhhhh......alllll the time...." Ron smiled bravely and shot beseeching looks at the crowd. "Uhhh....next please....." 


	11. From Lavender and Parvati

Lavender and Parvati crept forward, shooting frightened looks at Voldemort. Lavender spoke. "Here you are Ron, we just know you'll like it."  
  
Ron ripped open the paper eagerly, to discover a pass for all-you-can-eat at Hogsmeade's various stores! "Wow...a gift I'll use, and well..." he said, his mouth watering already. 


	12. From Psychic Dreamer

A big, soft, black Club Monaco hoodie from Julia . "Awesome!" Ron gazed in awe at the big, warm shirt, "Hey wait a minute, who're you?!" He asked the tall, blonde, unknown girl sitting on the couch with another girl, whom he didn't know either. "Hey there whassup, carrot-top?" she grinned, "I'm Julia ! Me and my pal Lost Dove here are the ones writing the story!" "Huh? You're copying our boss, J.K. Rowling?" "Nononononononononononono!" Lost Dove and Julia shook their hands and heads in denial. "We are not! We'll even say the disclaimer!" Then the two girls stood up and said the disclaimer. "We do not own these characters. We like to think that we do, but that's besides the point. They belong to J.K. Rowling." "Is there supposed to be something else to it?" Julia whispered to Lost Dove. "I don't think so.oh well who cares! Open your present, Ron!" The two girls sat back down. Ron shrugged, "All right then, thanks Julia !" 


	13. From Lost Dove

Ron let out a sigh as he reached for the last present. "From....Lost Dove?"  
  
The shorter girl on the couch waved.  
  
"Why are you here?" he asked, slightly caustically.  
  
"Well, because you're a great character, and because I completely understand what you're going through with this whole..." here she made eye contact with Ron and performed various facial expressions that eventually helped him get her drift. Upon which Ron turned redder than his hair.  
  
"ANYWAYS, open it already!"  
  
Ron teared off the paper, opened up the box, and saw.....  
  
"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Gag gift. Funny, Lost Dove. Really funny." This was all said very quickly in a stammering sort of voice  
  
Lost Dove winked.  
  
Ron was trying to forget (and hide from Harry) the little book of Shakespeare sonnets and a restaurant gift certificate for a meal for two. Included in this was a note saying, "Ask her out tonight!" 


	14. The End

All of the other guests had left. Psychic Dreamer and Lost Dove were still sitting on the couch, and Ron had gone to say goodbye.  
  
"Ever the romantic hey Dove?" asked Julia in a voice with laughter behind it.  
  
"Well I just couldn't resist. After, all, he's asking her out right this very second. And she's going to say yes."  
  
"How do you know that?"  
  
"Because I wrote it!"  
  
"Cheater.."  
  
They smiled at each other, and disappeared. 


End file.
